It’s Thanksgiving, Ok Boomer?

“Hahahaha… Ok Boomer.”

Maybe you know this meme, but I was late to the game and have just recently seen it popping up across the internet. Here are a few real life examples of advice that I’ve observed on my very own Facebook feed:

If your uncle brings up anything at the Thanksgiving table that smacks of climate change denial this season, the best response would be to laugh at him and simply leave it at “ok boomer”.

When your father tries to explain the importance of aggressively paying down debt – remind him that he has no idea what kinds of challenges our generation faces, ok boomer?

If your mother seems huffy about the fact that your wife shows zero interest in helping with the meal prep, remind that boomer that it’s not 1950 anymore, ok?

The meme has evidently been popularizing over the course of 2019. A congressman even used this phrase to rebut several anti-marijuana Trump staffers recently. The millennials rejoiced and (almost) considered voting for this chap.  The Wall Street Journal likes to whip out the phrase to scare boomers into hushing their outdated critiques, lest they suffer financial, political, and social consequences. 

I’m here to give you something to chew on for the holiday season when you’re likely to have some Boomers around your own table. Maybe you’re reading this and you ARE a Baby Boomer, and you’re wondering how you can relate to the snot-nosed millenials who seem to think you’ve faded into some sort of social interruption. Whichever generation you represent, we at Abrahams Wallet are fiercely opposed to the way of thinking that underlies the “ok boomer” catchphrase… and we’re here to give you some tools to squash it in your own life.  Good? Cool.

Before I talk about why this phrase is so odious to Abrahamic minds like ours, dear friends, I’ll first do some empathizing with the meme authors of generation Z. The phrase “ok boomer” lands so well because of how efficiently it simultaneously denigrates and dismisses the older generation. Have the Baby Boomers done anything to set themselves up for such brush-offs from their progeny? Mmmmmm…. Yes. For sure:

• They famously put the idea of not trusting anyone over 30 into the cultural lexicon, which may be backfiring? How did they not see that coming? Did they know they’d age??
• Under their watch, the national debt has soared as a percentage of GDP. (Their parents also ran up a huge debt, but it was to, you know, pay off their Nazi-toppling efforts over in Europe–and they paid it down in short order).
• They have set new records when it comes to divorce rate – splitting at a far higher rate than their parents or their children. BOO!
• Americans currently approaching or currently in retirement are more likely to spend their money than pass it to future generations when compared with previous generations. That is nuts right?! Certainly doesn’t square with the Bible’s model of multi-generation wealth.
• Despite being late to the game when it comes to social media (and often being loud critics of younger generations’ tech habits), statistically, boomers are the most likely peeps at a meal to pull out a smartphone. They also use Facebook at a rate many times higher than other generations in terms of weekly hours.
• We could go on. We won’t.

So the Baby Boomers have, in some sense, earned their reputation as the “me” generation. And I’m here to tell you right now: that fact doesn’t matter one iota for how you’re going to run your household, or even your Thanksgiving table, this year.

As the developer of a Kingdom Outpost, and the curator of its culture, it really doesn’t matter what “the boomers” are doing as a whole, nor does it particularly matter how the boomers around your own holiday table have conducted themselves with regard to all of the above generational patterns. What matters to you would be how the Lord describes your relationship to older generations if you’re out to run a well-ordered household.

Let’s see what He says, shall we? Yes let’s!

Clearly, there is a recurring theme in all of scripture: We’re to honor older generations. The godly man defers to the gray-hairs, and longs to become one of them in dignity, wisdom, and leadership. The Bible doesn’t say, “Go find yourself some smart old guys who you really like and respect, and who’re great at pastoring you in the way of the LORD–honor THEM!” Hey, if you can find some great and godly geezers, BY ALL MEANS, submit yourself to them and hang out with them all the livelong day… but the verses above don’t qualify their commendations at all (neither does “honor your parents in the LORD… for this is right” which, you may recall, is one of them Ten Commandments). The clear, repeated admonition of holy scripture is to respect older generations and give them the opportunity to speak. More on that below.

In addition, we’re pulling for multi-generational family-building, bros. That means we don’t paint with such a broad brush as to denigrate an entire generation (ANY generation) as irrelevant or valueless. We’re pulling for a Kingdom-centric ethic that sees every generation (just like every national culture, every personality type, and every spiritual gift) as contributing something unique.  If you want to be a godly patriarch (or support the one you’ve already got), you should be done with casting anybody aside out of hand. It’s not the way of the leader. 

In light of all this Biblical wisdom, we’re going to give you a few tips that you can use, yea, this very Thanksgiving. We tried to pick some tips that’ll help no matter who you end up dining with. Some of you have set up some very necessary boundaries with your older generations, while others enjoy a great deal of trust and intimacy with parents and grandparents. We hope a few of these ideas add a little holy seasoning to your Turkey Day, no matter who you gather with:

1. Encourage older generations among you to speak. This one is pretty easy and can be applied whether you’ve got a table full of Abrahamic patriarchs or a gathering of baby boomers who look at your family building efforts with a mix of skepticism and ire. Either way, you can invite them to tell stories! It doesn’t have to be “teach us to walk in the way of the LORD”, it can be “tell us about the first job you ever had”. Or “what was elementary school like? Who was your best friend?” Want to hear some great examples of this kind of storytelling? Click over here to a podcast with Steven and his dad, Roger (a note: Roger loves Jesus, so qualifies as an Abrahamic patriarch, so if that frustrates you in contrast to your pa, be forewarned).
2. Make the older folks at your table the stars. We’ve said it before, but in our culture, the smallest humans tend to be the attention-getters in a gathering. Flip that on its head. Serve Grandma her pie first. Exert yourself to correct your 5-year-old superstar when she does her best impersonation of Kanye at the VMAs. Be creative in this effort. Make the youngsters serve the grandparents.  Compliment them in front of everybody. Etc. etc. Make the Boomers SO glad they came (or that you invaded their home).
3. Tell some stories of your own about them. Does Uncle Bob always want to steer the conversation to his latest political soapbox? Come to the table ready with your own story that reminds everyone present of the flashes of greatness that Bob has shown in the past. I’m guessing you’ll derail his plans for a cage match and he might even be so taken aback that he’ll be a candidate for tip #4!
4. Invite your older generations to lead your family (even in small ways). One way for you, Mr. Family Leader, to enjoy the overflowing fruit of all the hard work you’ve been putting into that family of yours, is to realize that you’ve created something so good that you can allow others to harvest in a field where they may not have done much plowing. If your parents didn’t give you what you’re trying to give your family, but they are at your table, you miiiiight be tempted to show off by smugly demonstrating just how differently (read: RIGHT) you’re doing things. Don’t do that dude; it’s a bad look for you. Instead, invite the boomers to taste the goodness that enticed you into your role as Abrahamic Family Guy. For some of you, simply inviting an older relative to take the place of honor at your table and maybe leading a Thanksgiving prayer could tip off a whole new relational phase.
5. Be gracious. 
   1. If you’re going to have a boomer lead a prayer or tell a story, don’t put them on the spot. Give them some forewarning so they can prepare.
   2. If they decline, say that’s totally fine.  (Then ask them again at the next gathering.)
   3. Maybe set them up by prompting the telling of a story you know they love.  Like one where they get to brag about their parents. (Young people don’t care about great grandparents… unless they’re taught to do so.)
   4. If an old (or young) person goes on an unsavory rant and says something unbecoming or divisive… just kindly paper over it.  Don’t out them as a problem. Hold your tongue. Say something agreeable. Pass the sweet potatoes.
6. Play the host. This means: voluntarily take the part of the person who serves everybody (“Whoa Aunt Shirley you hit that jello salad pretty hard… can I get you some more?”), makes sure everyone’s drawn out (“We haven’t heard much from you, Niece Mildred… what’s something you’re looking forward to at school?”), and who takes the responsibility that there’s gratitude, and real sharing, and love exchanged at the holiday gathering.  YES THIS IS WORK. But a well-placed question or two (“Let’s go around the table and share the one thing in your life for which you’re truly thankful!”), or a generous comment, (“Oh Uncle Jerald you always make the best cornbread dressing and I’ve been looking forward to it since I was just a pup!”) can change the awkward who-do-I-look-at reunion moments into a family blessing.  Be that guy!

So here’s to honoring the Boomers, our blessed progenitors, at our Thanksgiving tables this holiday. Whether the list above gets you excited or strikes you with terror, my encouragement to you is this: make an effort, be it large or small, to move towards reclaiming right order in your relationships, both up and down the generational ladder. Ban the “Ok Boomer” spirit from your heart and home, and send it back to the pit of bad ideas, dwelling alongside Friendsgiving and gravy from a jar. We at Abraham’s Wallet bless you with the vision of long tables full of many generations… for generations to come!